they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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