Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
