Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize