I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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