so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
