I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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