dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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