You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
