never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
