and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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