my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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