I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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