I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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