I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
