i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Sober January is a disaster.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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