did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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