I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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