my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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