she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize