i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
