Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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