The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?