I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...