i already hear my dad disowning me
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats