what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Its about making memories worth repressing
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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