I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
