His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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