We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
