You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I want a musical about memes.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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