i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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