I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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