I think I am morally bankrupt
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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