So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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