I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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