I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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