doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
True college students do jello shots in the library
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
