Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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