So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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