we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
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