vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
