But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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