She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
