ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
My dad is sitting where you rode me
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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