I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
