There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
