i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
