Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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