Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
