You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
