i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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