last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
