Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
