This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
