i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
