Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
