i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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