I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
