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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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