Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
