We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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