Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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