Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
