The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
