No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He is an equal opportunity slut.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
