I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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