I accidentally had phone sex last night
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
