The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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