I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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