i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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