I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
