We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
