And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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